"Cassie McDowell's life in 1980s Minnesota seems perfectly wholesome. She lives on a farm, loves school, and has a crush on the nicest boy in class. Yes, there are her parents' strange parties and their parade of deviant guests, but she's grown accustomed to them. All that changes when someone comes hunting in Lilydale. One by one, local boys go missing. One by one, they return changed--violent, moody, and withdrawn. What happened to them becomes...

When Nobbin Swill, a royal dung farmer, ventures to the castle, he is drawn into hapless Prince Charming's quest to solve the case of the woodcutter's missing children, Hansel and Gretel.